Aging Wisely: living today, preparing for tomorrow

My beloved husband Stu passed away, quite unexpectantly, on August 23, and I've been grieving my loss.  It's been seven months and I thought the grief would be with me forever, until it isn't. This past week I went on a short mahjong cruise with some women I know briefly and one friend from childhood, Marcy.  The trip began sadly, first cruise without my husband, but ended amid gales of laughter, shared secrets, a pledge "What happens or is said on this cruise ship, stays on this cruise ship." Shortly after arriving home I realized that there is much life ahead of me, much good life.  It will be a life without Stu, but a wonderful life nevertheless.  I am so surprised by my own change of mind/heart.  I feel a bit disloyal to Stu's memory although I know fully that he was ready to let go.  His eye sight was failing, he'd been in pain for several years, more serious surgery lay in his immediate future.  Stu didn't believe his future would be a valued o...

Thank you to author Gail Blanke for her wonderful book "Throw Out Fifty Things".   Although the focus begins with clearing out your stuff, a road I've been on with a vengeance, Blanke also writes about getting rid of emotional baggage, people who no longer support your life in a positive way, and more.  In brief, Gail's advice is about throwing out fifty things.  Note a crate full of books only counts as one thing no matter how many books are in that crate.  Thus, to throw out 50 things, different categories of things, takes a lot of throwing. I've been well on my way to downloading stuff from my closets, cabinets, drawers, counters, etc, but I stood up and paid attention to Gail's message about letting go of old hurts and angers.  Gail retells an anecdote from her childhood which I have been repeating numerous times, the water metaphor. As a young child, about 9, Gail went to a birthday party but came home in tears.  When her mother asked what she was cr...