I've reached the other side

My beloved husband Stu passed away, quite unexpectantly, on August 23, and I've been grieving my loss.  It's been seven months and I thought the grief would be with me forever, until it isn't.
This past week I went on a short mahjong cruise with some women I know briefly and one friend from childhood, Marcy.  The trip began sadly, first cruise without my husband, but ended amid gales of laughter, shared secrets, a pledge "What happens or is said on this cruise ship, stays on this cruise ship."
Shortly after arriving home I realized that there is much life ahead of me, much good life.  It will be a life without Stu, but a wonderful life nevertheless.  I am so surprised by my own change of mind/heart.  I feel a bit disloyal to Stu's memory although I know fully that he was ready to let go.  His eye sight was failing, he'd been in pain for several years, more serious surgery lay in his immediate future.  Stu didn't believe his future would be a valued one, not the quality of life he sought.
Dear Stu, I will love you always.  You were my soulmate, my best friend, my partner, and now you are no more.

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