Posts

Growing a New Chapter

 Three years into my widowhood I realized that I was unhappy living alone.  I felt more like a half of a whole than a whole person.  The world, my community, is certainly still geared to couples life.  While weekdays could be readily filled,  evenings and weekends remained difficult.  Adult children and grandchildren are busy with their lives, or live far away.  Friends are off with their spouses doing couples things and invitations are rare.  Singles are plentiful and my Meet-Up groups certainly allow for 7 nights of activity, if I so choose.  But how much Trivia, bar eating and dancing can one do?  For me, once a week of these inconsequential activities is enough.  Along with Pickleball, mahjong, and stitchers, I have social contact.  What I thought I needed was a mate, a special partner, a Stu stand-in if not a replacement.  And so I joined two dating sites. I learned there are many lonely older men, some widowed, other...

Living in a Bubble

 We live in a bubble, each in our own world, separated from everyone whose life is not just like ours.  We ride in our private vehicles, go to places only others in our socio economic situation frequent.  We hear stories that mirror our own.  And then we break out of the mold, like today, when 5 ladies from AAUW walked a hiking trail in Flagstaff, Arizona.   Undisturbed by outside distractions, we talked.  We talked about our travels, today, and I learned that while in some circles I am considered very well traveled, in others, I've been standing still, living in my own small world.  Some of that is because our starting lines varied dramatically, we never traveled as a family.  My father didn't help make my halloween costumes, nor my mother teach me the piano.  Our lives were so small, just pay the rent and hope tomorrow is better because we got educated.  When you are spending your time making a living, basics, there isn't much time for...

Growing a Community

 I continue to walk Sunshine in the evenings at Surprise Community Park.  I still talk to strangers who are becoming less strange and more community friends.   Today I said hello to Larry, a gentleman I see walking in the park whenever I am there after 6:30 pm.  Larry, I discovered, has walked around the lake seven days a week for 11 years!  He moved here from Pensacola, Florida where his father built the first house in Pensacola in 1946, after the war.  Larry raised his three sons on the family farm near the border with Alabama.  None of his sons wanted to farm, so they leased it and the boys went in different directions.  11 years ago Larry and one son bought an Auto Glass franchise here and that's how they came to Surprise.  They sold the auto shop 2 months ago and now the son will do missionary work, running a distribution center, in Africa. I'm an intellectual snob.  Larry didn't know that Africa is more than one country, that it's ...

Covid, Lockdowns, Isolation, Spiritual Growth, and More

 No one could have accurately predicted how the advent of the Covid virus would begin a rolling lockdown across the world.  At home we were told, especially as the more vulnerable senior population, to hanker down, shut our doors, order on line, isolate from everyone.  Up popped Zoom, FaceTime surged, but touching and hugging, collective activities faded.  Along with Zoom, we continue to see an uptick in depression, alcohol usage, domestic violence, suicide.  We are a people needing people, and I am one of those. The Covid lockdown caught me in Israel, mid-trip, which ElAl airlines truncated--get home tomorrow or risk unknown departure date sometime in the future.  Still aglow from my Israeli adventures, I sailed into lockdown without belief that this might last for weeks, morphing into months.  So much to do, so many quilts to sew, so many masks to make, books to read.  By April it was harder to get out of bed in the morning.  As a solo trav...

Second trip to Israel for the first time.

feb 29, 2020 I have returned to Israel ten years since my first visit.   Then, traveling with my beloved Stu, we saw the country-important cities, historical sites ( some hysterical sites, particularly all manner of religious attire like fur hats on the hottest days), inspired sites, amazingly blooming deserts.).  This trip I am here to visit friends, to note how Israelis live in their homes, and prayer at the motel.  The inspiration is volunteering with Sar-el on a military base.    Abbie and Ner live on a moshav in the outskirts of Tel-Aviv, about 15 minutes from Ben guiro now airport.   Their apt-house is small, old, and could benefit from upgrades, but it is warm, they are gracious, generous, welcoming, family.  I am blessed to be their guest and feel comfortable here. How to explain a Moshav.   Think kibbutz that is no longer a kibbutz.  Very small town with a town center consisting of a community building that is not in the center...

Cornelius the Fisherman

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 I met Cornelius this evening at our local Surprise Park.  He was fishing in the town lake which is kept, much to my surprise, well stocked by our small, neighborly city.  I had emerged long enough for my "poor me" mode to be in the moment, to be present, to remember to get out of myself and enjoy the park, the cooler night air, the company of Sunshine and the other 100 plus visitors.  I paused on my counter clockwise circumnavigation of the park to observe the fisherman's very contented stance.  "How's the fishing?" was greeted by a warm, welcoming smile, white teeth shining against his dark face.  The sun had already set, the park lanterns provided enough light for not being afraid of the dark, but not so much it forced you from your reverie.   Cornelius is called The Fisherman, everyone knows him he assured me.  What's the secret of his fishing success?  A 99cent package of chicken franks from the Dollar Store, a heavy weight, no floatatio...

Talking to Strangers Makes me Happy

It isn't often that something I decide to do following a simple suggestion, is promptly backed up by published research findings. On a recent cruise to Alaska with my daughter, she told me her on board photography instruction suggested that when traveling instead of taking only or mostly scenery pictures, one make an effort to meet the locals, take photos of them, or selfies together.  That will become the joy of the trip, something around which you can build a narrative as you browse your (probably too many) photos upon returning home.  And so I did. On a recent two week trip to Logan, Utah for a Summer Citizens program, I had lots of time to myself.  My travel companion was negatively impacted by the high altitude and stayed in much of the time.  I got out walking 5-7 miles nearly daily.  Not only did I get to know the town very well, I met people.  Most memorable, a student  beginning his freshman year, a recent graduate of an Historically Black...