Covid, Lockdowns, Isolation, Spiritual Growth, and More

 No one could have accurately predicted how the advent of the Covid virus would begin a rolling lockdown across the world.  At home we were told, especially as the more vulnerable senior population, to hanker down, shut our doors, order on line, isolate from everyone.  Up popped Zoom, FaceTime surged, but touching and hugging, collective activities faded.  Along with Zoom, we continue to see an uptick in depression, alcohol usage, domestic violence, suicide.  We are a people needing people, and I am one of those.

The Covid lockdown caught me in Israel, mid-trip, which ElAl airlines truncated--get home tomorrow or risk unknown departure date sometime in the future.  Still aglow from my Israeli adventures, I sailed into lockdown without belief that this might last for weeks, morphing into months.  So much to do, so many quilts to sew, so many masks to make, books to read.  By April it was harder to get out of bed in the morning.  As a solo traveler since my husband's death, days were long, and weeks flew by without human physical contact.  Therapy helped as I continued to work on navigating widowhood, the meaning of girl friends and the lack thereof.  Sunshine helped more when we rescued one another in May.  

I never feared catching the virus and becoming ill.  I've always enjoyed good health, am settled with my maker and have no regrets at this time, so even at most, dying doesn't hold fear.  I still take reasonable precautions, but never totally sequestered myself, remained home largely because there were few opportunities to venture out due to the excessive heat and lack of playmates.  

I added small trips to Boise with granddaughter Sierra and then to Colorado with daughter Christine. Spent two weeks in Florida visiting some girlfriends, getting introduced to The Villages, and revisiting Sarasota.  I hiked with new AAUW friends and played mahjong a few times with neighbors I met on the walking trail.  Always careful, but still enjoying the new sites, the greenery, the bodies of water in place of Arizona sand.  And I welcomed Covid Silver, my new look.

Internally, changes were afoot and continue to resonate.  Slowing down.  Not filling every moment with hustle and productive activity. Taking time in the middle of the day to stop and read a book, or take a brief nap on the couch next to Sunshine--enjoying her company while she relaxes into mine.  Engaging with Wise Aging, exploring girl friends, rediscovering or discovering anew the concept of being "all in" first introduced to me by Brynee Brown via an audio book.  Feeling most free, unbeholden to anyone.  Able to omit vexing people while seeking those whose beliefs may be different but whose values of kindness are similar.  Feeling and acknowledging gratitude every day, shedding stuff that leads to more freedom, not less.  

In retrospect, the Covid lockdown has been like a reset button on my devices.  I didn't shut down, just paused, readjusted, then moved forward refreshed.


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